Crazy morning on the farm

Just when you thought YOUR Monday morning was bad...

1) Woke up to find two rats at the back door, courtesy of our great cat. I grabbed their tails w/ a paper towel and went to the back fence to sling them into the back field-when their tails snapped off and blood went everywhere.

2) Walked through a huge banana spider web on the way back.

3) Went to let the chickens out, and the wooden ramp fell on top of a hen's head. The other chickens trampled it, while its neck was stuck under the ramp. It looked like it broke its neck, but it was still awkwardly moving around a whole bunch, so I took it and swung it around by its neck to make sure it was really snapped. The second the flock realized that it wasn't walking around properly, they began to peck out its eyes. I shooed the flock away, grabbed it by its neck and carried all 14 lbs of it to the fire pit by the barn. On the way, it kept blinking and kicking and BREATHING. I could feel its heart beat, but I was strangling it at the same time. I loosened my grip and it fell on the ground, spinning around with its legs like a firework. Poor son witnessed the whole thing. It was really traumatic--partly b/c I just had to dump the moving body. I would have felt better if I was in a position to skin and clean it and actually feel like it died for a purpose or something.

4) While walking back from the fire pit, son spotted a turtle. He wanted me to pick it up, so I did. When I put it back on the ground, it ran away really fast and hid in some overgrowth. Son started having a screaming tantrum b/c I "scared it off."

5) Later, in the house, while playing on the floor w/ son in my lap, he reared back and head-butted me in the chin. I fell back and blacked out for a second. When I sat up, my chin and jaw were stiff, and I immediately got a headache. My eyebrows HURT, like when you look at the sun on a hot day. The headache just started to subside an hour ago. In other words, my 2 year old actually gave me a concussion. OhYeah.